If I can give any advice to someone who is ready to settle down it would be, “marry your best friend.” Marry the person who makes you happy, angry, excited, who knows you inside & out, who goes out the way for you, and who isn’t afraid to risk it all for you.
Santi and I have known each other since we were 14 years old. After 10 years of dating I took my own advice and married my best friend August 2016.
We are opposites and at the same time identical. We tell each other it how it is - no games. We know how to bring out any emotion (and I mean any). We challenge and compete with one another. We can talk about almost any topic. Sometimes our conversations baffle me because we can engage over the most ridiculous things. For some reason we enjoy critiquing new plates we try at restaurants (we are wanna-be food critics). At least half of the day we’re being pranksters. We can have a whole conversation through gifs. Santi asks me to pick out his outfit for the day and I always need him to solve math conversions for the programs I work in. We go after our dreams together. And we sacrifice a lot of things for one another.
I can go on and on. But I think the most important thing I love about our relationship is that it isn’t perfect. It’s messy and we can disagree on a lot of things. If I’m honest with you our differences is what makes us work. It’s our secret ingredient because we use it to our advantage and our differences end up pushing us to grow. Year after year we see how strong our relationship has gotten. And we’ve come to the conclusion that disagreements + perseverance = growth.
When you read the scriptures I love how imagery of the garden is a repetitive image painted to understand complex wisdom. Marriage is a lot like maintaining a garden. You have all the tools and materials to cultivate a lively garden. But it takes work, patience, perseverance, dedication, and faith. You’ll have to learn how to work through the tough seasons. And sooner than you think with all the love that you poured into your garden you’ll be able to reap the fruit of your labor.
“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law [teachings] he [habitually] mediates day and night. And he will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season; its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers [and comes to maturity].”
Even after the combination of 10 years of dating & 4 years of marriage we are still constantly learning each other. As we persevere together God continues to give us new opportunities and responsibilities. We try our best to embrace the scary new seasons because at the end of the day we look forward to looking back and seeing the beautiful garden we’ve established together.